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Some time toward the end of last month, I managed to do something that I quite honestly never thought I would do.
I finished writing Second Nature.
So, you may be wondering why, if such a momentous occasion occurred, you didn’t see a post filled with some choice Happy Dance gifs such as the following:
And maybe just one more (because I can never resist using this gif when it suits the situations…)
Doing posts filled with Happy Dance gifs has become my habit/tradition upon the completion of a draft. Well, maybe ‘habit/tradition’ is too strong a word/phrase. I mean, I did do it that one magical time that I actually managed to finish a draft, but I didn’t do that post this time. So maybe it’s not a habit or a tradition or anything else.
But whatever you call it, or don’t call it, I didn’t do it this time.
Because, here’s the thing: When it comes to the finishing of this monster novel of mine (and at 325,000 words, it really is a monster), I’m feeling more like this:
Maybe I’m just tired. Or sad. Or both.
Or maybe I’m just not happy with how it turned out.
I mean, I know it’s the third one. Of course it’s the third one. The other two may be contributing factors, but the truth is that I am not happy with how it turned out. I just think I screwed it up.
Now, if I came on the blog and talked about how pleased I was with my work, you’d all be running for the hills trying to escape the invasion of the body snatchers, or whatever, because me being hyper critical of all I do or don’t so (*coughcough* exercise *coughcough*) is just what I do. Along with being sarcastic and worshiping at the altar of Joss Whedon.
But I did the Happy Dance post before, so even if I wasn’t particularly pleased with what I had written (and given that I’m still me, you know I wasn’t), I was pleased that I had done the writing. I was pleased to have written.
This time…not so much.
And it’s stupid, too, to feel this way, given that the manuscript in question is in its first draft. First drafts don’t have to be good. They just have to be written. They just have to be done, and I did that.
So why am I not happy about it?
Right now, it’s sitting in a drawer where it will remain until I decide to look at it again. It’ll be a month, at least. Probably two. Maybe three. Maybe I’ll never look at it again.
Probably not that last one.
Time away between drafts is a good thing, I think. It allows one to look at a story with fresh eyes, which makes needed edits much more obvious and clear. It is my hope that time away will not only give me those vital fresh eyes but will also get me to that Happy Dance place (I don’t know why I keep capitalizing Happy Dance. It just happens.).
I want this story to be good. Better than good, even. Or, as good as I am capable of making it, I suppose. This story contains my absolute favorite character, and I want to make sure I can do her story justice.
So I’m waiting. Patiently, as only I can.
A recap of my week:
I am somehow cruising through Camp NaNoWriMo. After two weeks of barely keeping pace, I am now days ahead. Days. As in more than one. Four days, to be exact. Now, of course, that I’ve announced it to the world I’ve completely jinxed myself and will spend the next 15 days without a single story-related thought in my head.
But they’re there at the moment, and I hope they stick around for the rest of the month. Seriously, I have no idea how this is happening. I have no idea where my 30,000+ words thus far have gone in this manuscript. I’m also starting to suspect that 50,000 words will not be enough to finish this story, but that’s a different post for a different day. Let me say this, though: Second Nature is now over 730 pages long (11 pt font, 1.5 spacing, or roughly 282,000 words, if you were curious).
I never thought I’d look at Effigy and think ‘short.’ Never. Not once.
Speaking of Effigy, it’s been almost a year since that novel was released into the wild. Its official book birthday is next week (Monday or Wednesday, to be as exact as I can in this case.). I’ll be putting the e-book edition on sale then, provided I don’t forget and I can figure out how. I’m also contemplating doing some Effigy-themed posts during this time. So, if there’s an Effigy-themed topic in which you may be interested in reading, please feel free to mention it in the comments.
I still live in Florida. I’m still unemployed. I keep checking the want ads every day, but still, no one is hiring a sarcasm specialist. I’m sure it’s only a matter of time…before the college kids go back to school and some store is desperate enough to take on both me and my attitude. Fingers crossed!
(Please note, the second video contains a not-insignificant amount of profanity. That’s probably obvious, as it’s right in the name. Anyway, it’s NSFW. Or suitable for people who don’t find profanity as amusing as I do. (Yes, I am incredibly mature like that.))
That’s going to do it for me today. Thanks for stopping by. Hope you have a great weekend!
A while back, I had an idea that in an upcoming scene I wanted to write that a character of mine would be singing a song. Or, maybe not a song exactly. Originally, whatever this brilliant composition would end up being was supposed to be something like a childhood rhyme that girls might recite on the playground while jumping rope, or something that would be accompanied by an intricate hand jive. “Miss Mary Mack”- esque, if you will, but darker and potentially creepier. You know, something that would fit in the world of my novels.
|A sample draft. I need a better eraser.|
Once upon a time, once a month, I would review all the books I had read the previous month. Nothing super long or in depth—well, usually nothing long or in depth (unless a novel really, really irritated me, that is…), but reviews nonetheless.
Then I fell out of the habit. I’m not sure why. Time constraints maybe? Laziness? Who knows. Anyway, my last book review post was back in March 2014.
But whatever the reason I stopped, I thought I might try bringing it back. Since it’s been so long since I’ve done one of these, I will not be reviewing every book I’ve read since March 2014. Instead, I’ll give you the highlights (and maybe a low light or two) from my 2015 reading collection (January through June).
Generally, I’d post any reviews at the beginning of the month, but Camp NaNoWriMo has me all flustered and turned around (proud to report that I am currently on pace to finish my novel…in August.) so I forgot to do this post earlier. I’ll do better next month.
Anyway, here we go…
Heir of Fire—Sarah J. Maas—The third book in her Throne of Glass series. I’ve really enjoyed this series overall, and I really do adore the MC. My biggest criticism of this particular novel was that it took me longer than usual to finish it. It’s a big novel, and there were parts that dragged. But again, I adore the MC, and I can’t wait for the next installment. I want to know what will happen next.
Mr. Kiss and Tell—Rob Thomas—This is the second book in the Veronica Mars novels, which take place after the events of the movie. The books are all right, this one included, but as grateful as I am to know anything about the Veronica Mars universe, I think something is lost in book form. Or maybe I just really want more movies. Again, I will read the next one because I’m a fan of the character. And Logan. I admit it.
One Good Catch—Heather M. Gardner—The second book in her Maguire’s Corner series. I enjoy these books. Gardner (you occasionally read this blog, Heather, so if it’s weird for me to be using your last name like this, I’m sorry.) does not waste time getting to the action, and the story’s entertaining. The end surprised me as well. The story didn’t go how I thought it would. I mean, there’s a happy ending, which I expected, but it didn’t play out how I thought it would. It’s always nice to be surprised. Anyway, it’s really a fantastic summer beach read (I should know…I read it on the beach.) and I’m looking forward to the next installment. Also…I desperately want to go to this town for the pancakes, because they sound amazing.
Robert B, Parker’s Kickback—Ace Atkins—This is the 43rd Spenser novel, and the third or fourth (fourth, I think) written by Atkins. I have pleasantly surprised by the quality of these novels. It’s hard, I think, to take over a series loved by so many, and be able to emulate the style set forth in the previous 39 novels. He had big shoes to fill, and I think he’s nailed it. My one criticism (you knew there had to be one, right?) is that I occasionally feel as though Atkins is working too hard to cram in as many characters from the Spenser-verse into each novel. Robert B. Parker did have recurring characters, and I do love that about the books, but I think Atkins is using too many at once.
The Darkest Minds—Alexandra Bracken—The first in her The Darkest Minds series. I came across this book while hunting for novels in which mind control is possible. True story. Anyway, the reviews seemed good, so I went into this series feeling excited. That faded. The concept is intriguing, the execution I think fell flat. There were parts I liked, and characters who made me laugh out loud, which is always good. I wasn’t a fan of just how often Watership Down was referenced and/or quoted. We get it; stop hitting us over the head with it. So while I wasn’t a diehard insta-fan or whatever, I still went out and read the other two books in the series because I wanted to know how it would end.
Never Fade—Alexandra Bracken—(You guessed it…the second in The Darkest Minds series. There was an interaction between two characters that really intrigued the hell out of me. I don’t want to be all spoiler-y, but (SPOILER ALERT) at the end of the first book, a character with the ability to manipulate memory (Ruby) uses her abilities to tamper with the mind of the boy with whom she fell in love in the the first book (Liam). She has to make him forget that he knows her. But it’s true love, or whatnot, so naturally they’re going to encounter one another in the second book. That meeting and what follows it is intriguing. While Ruby could erase the memory of her in Liam’s life, the feelings Liam had/have for her are still there, but he doesn’t understand why he has them. It was an interesting concept.
In The Afterlight—Alexandra Bracken—The third and final book in the series. This is the book where the limitations of the first person POV are most evident. With the first person POV, the reader is limited to what the narrator sees/knows, and that limitation hurt this book, in my opinion. Major events would happen, but as Ruby wasn’t there to witness them, both she and the reader find out about it secondhand. I don’t know—it made the story a little duller, I guess. I also felt like the story relied entirely too much on coincidence, and that the ending was rushed. Given the world built up in the first two novels, it was a little dues ex machina-esque for my personal taste.
All right—that’s going to do it for me today. I’m headed off to Camp to see if I just can’t get caught up on my word count. What have you been reading? Tell me in the comments…
But not, like, for soccer or football or whatever. I am referring to a blog post—this blog post, as it happens—in which I set goals for an upcoming month.
Fascinated already, aren’t you?
That’s what I thought.
Anyway, I haven’t done a monthly goal post for a while now. I just checked—the last post concerning a goal that wasn’t “Pack up my belongings and move to the other end of the East Coast” was back in October 2014. There were two goals set that month:
1) Finish Part Two of my then-current (and, hell, still-current) WIP, Second Nature.
2) Walk, run, or bike at least 88 miles.
But I never blogged about whether I had accomplished these goals. I know for a fact that I didn’t make the first one, as I didn’t finish Part Two until March of this year. I went back and checked the mileage log (Yes, I have a mileage log. Yes, I know it’s weird.) and saw that I only logged 50 miles last October, with a note written in the margin that October 2014 was the month I was dealing with my horrendous back injury. So, given that, I think 50 miles was pretty damn good.
Anyway, as part of my goal to get back into the swing of things following the Big Move, I am bringing back my monthly goal setting, and I am posting them for all to see on this blog to help hold me accountable.
And now, without any further ado, here are my goals for the month of July:
1) Win Camp NaNoWriMo and, by doing so, complete this never-ending draft of Second Nature.
I am so excited for Camp to start this Wednesday. And scared. But excited. And scared. But, you know, excited. Really. It’s going to be great. Or, potentially, a huge disaster. But it’s going to be great. Have I mentioned that I’m excited? (And scared…) I really want to finish this book this July.
2) Attempt to make some progress on my Goodreads Reading Challenge.
Back in January, I set a goal to read 60 books this year. In general, it’s not too difficult for me to achieve this…She says as she admits that last year, she only finished 56 books. And so far this year, I have managed only 19 books. According to Goodreads, I am ten books behind schedule. Could be worse, I suppose, but I’d like to make up some ground on that this month. This could be a crazy goal to set, given that I’m also attempting to write 50,000 words in July, but it’s not like I have a day job. (And it’s not like I’m still bitter about that, either.)
3) Log some serious mileage.
I’m also way behind on my 2015 mileage goal. In January, I set out to log 800 miles (via walking, running, biking, etc.). I have 730 miles to go. So way, way behind. Last July, I managed 125 miles, so I’ll shoot to match that number this July. Again, it’s possible I’m setting myself up for failure come August, but go big or go home, right?
Just think of it this way: If I keep crazy busy, I won’t have time to dwell on how much I don’t enjoy living on the surface of the sun. (Yes, I know the surface of the sun is much, much hotter than Florida, and that if I truly did live on the surface of the sun, I would have been incinerated or whatever long before now, but C’MON! Just give me this one, okay?)
And on that note, I’m outta here. Gotta rest up while I can. July’s going to be rather busy. (I hope.)