So, I’m assuming that anyone reading this post is already painfully aware of this, but just in case someone new has stumbled onto this blog, here’s a probably not-that-quick recap:
Last year, I made the decision to make some changes to Full Circle, the third installment of my fantasy series, The Coileáin Chronicles. The beta round didn’t go nearly as well as I had hoped it might, by which I mean it went just about as poorly as it could possibly go (sucks, but it happens), and the need for change was glaringly obvious. So, I went to work identifying problem areas (a technical term known as ‘all of it’…) and devising solutions with the aim of making the story…What’s the phrase? Oh right—suck less.
I completed the revisions in October of last year. And then promptly shoved the manuscript in a (metaphorical) drawer and haven’t looked at it since.
I thought I would start reading it in January. That didn’t work out. There were other things going on. Then I thought maybe February would, at last, be the month where I finally took the manuscript back out of the drawer, dusted it off, and see if any of those aforementioned changes actually improved the story at all. And for a while, I was actually looking forward to it.
And then something happened. By ‘something’, I mean ‘me’. And by ‘me’, I mean ‘my stupid anxiety brain went into anxiety mode and has yet to find its way back out’.
You see, in the drawer, the manuscript is safe. In the drawer, the manuscript still has the potential to be not terrible. In the drawer, the manuscript will not require me to tear it apart again and figure out yet another way to stitch it back together. The manuscript is better in the drawer.
Because, as soon as I take it out of the drawer, I’m going to know for sure. I mean, yeah, the manuscript might still be terrible, even if it never leaves the drawer, but as soon as I start reading, I lose the ability to pretend otherwise.
So now instead of looking forward to reading the manuscript, the game has become ‘How Long Can I Avoid Reading This Manuscript?”
But, you know, just because I’m curious to know. Not because I’m scared to read the manuscript or anything like that. Because I definitely am…not.
In other news, I have two big (well, big for me, anyway) developments in the writing realm that are maybe actually legitimate reasons to put off reading Full Circle for at least another month. (But again, not because I’m scared…)
They are:
—An upcoming release
No, really. I’ve been making decent progress on that little haiku project of mine, and I might actually be running out of things to do on it. The release date (Did I really just write that?) is currently scheduled for April 1st (And no, I know what you’re probably thinking. Oh, haha, M.J., very funny joke, but I’m almost positive that I actually just might manage to probably make this release date.) becuase I would like to have it available for my second big announcement. Which is…
—An in-person author event
Wait? What? I did what?!?
I haven’t attended an in-person author event (or a virtual one, for that matter) since 2019. I had a pretty not great experience at that one, for reasons I choose not to go into, and haven’t had any interest in going back to an event since. (I can feel horrible at home for free, so…) So, it is with a lot of trepidation and anxiety and straight-up fear that I say I will be participating in a local book fair in April. Next month. I suspect it will only be with the loving support of my emotional support author friend and the massive amount of crazy glue they’ll have to use to keep me at my post that I will make it through this experience.
So, what do you think? Are those legit reasons to put off reading Full Circle? I hope so because I am totally putting that off until April. Maybe longer.
But not because I’m scared.
Anyway, this has been a very long post. Sorry about that. This is apparently what happens when I don’t post every month, as I intend to.
Here’s how the year has otherwise gone, if you’re curious:
And here’s what’s on the agenda this month:
Okay. That’s it for me today. I promise. I have a lot of worrying to do. I mean, prep work. I have a lot of prep work to do.
Thank you for stopping by. You’ve been a wonderful audience.
One last thing—it’s a mad, mad, mad, mad world out there. Please be safe and well, all.
Schrodinger’s Manuscript is EXACTLY what it’s like when I have a manuscript – or even an idea, really – that can go either way and living with that possibility is preferable to actually knowing. Sigh.
Congrats on the upcoming release! And good luck with the book fair! If I lived over your way, I’d show up in person, crazy glue in hand. 🙂
Somebody needs a hug!
Go for that in person event. It will be better this time.
It’s still winter, so I say let the manuscript hibernate. Wake it up too soon, and it might be grouchy.
And looking forward to Retail Rhapsody! (Unless you’d rather I not mention it, in which case I will pretend I didn’t hear about it or, God forbid, plan to actually read it.)
You wrote some words, so I think you’re doing great. That MS will come out of the drawer when you’re ready for it.
Woot for the release! I’m happy and excited for you. And I hope you find some peace and relief from the anxiety as you prep for next month. I think that’s a plenty good reason to put off the read.
I totally understand what you’re feeling. Hang in there.
Oh my goodness, I feel this soooo much. Fingers crossed that when you do peek, it’s better than you’re expecting. @samanthabwriter from
Balancing Act
I know what you mean about letting sleeping manuscripts lie. It’s hard to get over that hump and just read the thing. I mean, you are busy and all, and giving it more time to hibernate might be a good thing (especially with how hard it was to deal with before; more time away might just give your subconscious the time to come up with better solutions).
Good luck with your in-person event. I’m sure your previous one wasn’t as bad for those not you as you think. (For you? Yeah, I’m sure it was traumatic.)
I can think of a few WIPs I have lying around that I am procrastinating on going back to because I know the edits will be heavy and it’s gonna be a lot of work. You just gotta suck it up, buttercup, and pull it out eventually.